With a smile and a tear
It has been almost three years since I was allowed to start with this work. It seems like such a short time ago – and it actually is. First I had to divide my attention between Hammanskraal, Phumzile and Refilwe. That was truly hard work. Then I was able to leave Hammanskraal to Georg and focus on Refilwe and Phumzile. Time to take stock.
In Phumzile, a fairly loyal, very small group of people has recently started coming on Wednesdays. In Refilwe, I have been working for a long time with a small group of around ten people. It is precisely in that group that I get to know people better and I gradually find out what is really going on. And that is sometimes very difficult. Especially when all kinds of difficulties not only occur behind front doors, but also enter your Bible class. For some time now, that has been the case with a conflict between two of the most faithful visitors. It has already caused me a lot of headaches. And also many sighs in prayer. How I discover that human wisdom falls short!
Today is Saturday. This morning my wife waved me goodbye at our gate and I sighed to her, ‘If I look at the circumstances, I will lose the joy.’ It probably said more about my state of mind than I wanted to admit. I really had to drag myself there, to be honest. The first people I pick up today are also from Rayton. They came to us through someone from the congregation of Silverton who referred them to us. How nice! Sophie is already waiting with a happy face. Her daughter and grandson are also coming along. On the way she tells me how long she has wanted to learn more about the Bible and how she longs to know God. It actually cheers me up a bit. After a drive through Refilwe, another group of ten people is ready for the Bible class.
Just before I want to start my class, my wife sends me a message. Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy (1 Peter 4:12-13). ‘Rejoice…’ It flashes through my mind what the Lord Jesus encountered during His walk on earth. How awful it must have been for Him: But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man (John 2:24-15).
Yes, we may do this work with joy. And at the same time with a crying heart. That is very remarkable. As our Rev. Weststrate in the church of Elspeet once said, ‘One eye laughs and out of the other eye rolls a tear.’ When we had a week opening with our Bethlehem colleagues a few weeks ago, I started counting in the letter to the Philippians how many reasons Paul had to be discouraged. Well, more than I: prison, pain, enemies, illness, self-sacrifice, crying, melancholy, death, hunger, loss and…? Conflict (Phil. 4:2)! Paul continues, Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice (Phil. 4:4). Yes, in the Lord.
That reminds me of about five years ago. Back then, still in the Netherlands, the question sometimes came to me whether I had enough love for the people there in South Africa. When I once put that before the Lord in prayer, the words of Paul came to mind, For the love of Christ constraineth us (2 Cor. 5:14). Shortly afterwards I realized the depth of the word ‘of’. Not my love, but His love constrains people to go out. His love to sinners that are still lost this day!
And that is still the same today. I do not have to go in my own strength – a difficult lesson! My strength and love are never sufficient – how humbling! And that is why it is so wonderful to once again accept this truth: it is Your love, oh dear Christ, that constrains me. Not my love, not my strength, not my wisdom, not my ability. But Your love alone!
So let us continue, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebr. 12:2).
Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh (Luke 6:21).
Job Bolier
